And Jesus increased in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and men. -Luke 2:52
If you have faithfully encouraged your husband, you will no doubt have seen some changes in his life… and your own life, as well. Encouragement is a wonderful habit that we hope you will continue for the rest of your life.
The important thing is to keep growing in Christ and obeying the Word of God as you respond to your husband. As you consider today how to bless your husband and not tear him down, think of ways that you can encourage balance in your home.
Jesus led a balance life. He grew mentally, physically, spiritually, and socially. As you see your husband branching out in these areas, is there a pattern of growth? Is your husband striving for balance in his life? If so, let him know you have noticed, and ask how you can further encourage that balance.
If your husband is out of balance-focusing on one area to the exclusion of the others-consider whether there are things you can do to help restore or create balance in his life. Can you encourage times for sports or exercise? Keep the children quiet for a study time? Invite friends over for dinner? Stimulate his mind?
Be sure you are working toward balance in your own life, as well. Be an example!
You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trust in you. –Isaiah 26:3
Before you consider whether these verses describe your husband, consider your own presence in the home. Do you promote an atmosphere of peace, or do critical words often flow from your mouth? Do you struggle with anger? If so, before you continue with your Encouragement Challenge, confess these sinful habits to the Lord, and determine to speak words of peace to your family today.
Does your husband bring an atmosphere of peace into your home? Is his presence a calming influence> Does he bring music, entertainment, books, or people into your home that build a sense of serenity? Let him know how much you appreciate this wonderful quality, and support his choices.
If, on the other hand, he is quickly angered or he creates chaos rather than calm, ask God to give you an abundance of the kind of peace that will speak to his heart. Be patient and loving. Create an inviting atmosphere of peace, as much as possible.
And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. – Colossians 3:15
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. –Ephesians 6:4
Children can be quite a challenge to the marriage relationship. A wise wife will support her husband’s leadership in the home as much as possible and will praise him for his fathering skills. Negativity makes a man feel like a failure and may make him want to give up.
Does your husband discipline your children wisely? Does he show them love and encourage them? Does he take an interest in their activities and dreams? Does he spend time with them? Does he take part in developing their character? Praise him for these important life skills.
If you don’t have children, is your husband positive and encouraging around other people’s children? Let him know that you have noticed.
If your husband does not experience positive relationships with children, you will need to figure out why. Perhaps he had negative experiences as a child with his own parents and needs to learn how to respond. Perhaps you can lovingly and patiently show him how to parent-while still maintaining his authority in the home.
“My husband used to have so much stress from work and being a father of eight that he would take it out on us. As I learned something new each day to say or do for him to make him feel better and more appreciated for the things he does, he began to soften. I picture him softening under the hand of God.- Shanna
Let your speech always be gracious. -Colossians 6:4
Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works.– Titus 2:7
Does the 30-Day Encouragement Challenge seem like hard work? Or is it becoming a pleasant exercise in genuine Christ-likeness within your home? You are only scratching the surface of ways to encourage your mate.
Is your husband organized? Is he diligent? Is he persistent? These are all related to a pattern of personal disciplines that are worthy of your praise. Affirm him for one or more of these traits that you see in him.
Some men have not developed these qualities because they are naturally more spontaneous. You can praise his spontaneity! Perhaps God has called you alongside to help him with disciplines he has not yet developed-but this does not include nagging. You can keep him organized.
Whatever the need, you can be your husband’s cheerleader, encouraging him when he wants to give up.
“I went to my husband with my concerns without nagging or complaining, and I humbled myself (which was a challenge) and said ‘I need your help, because I can’t do it alone.’ That very second, my husband hugged me and grabbed the vacuum and got to work. Thank you so much for your program!” – Amy
Are you living a lifestyle that would naturally encourage discipline in your husband?
Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth- Colossians 3:2
Focus today on how you represent your husband indoor home, your church, and your community. In this challenge to encourage, ask yourself: If all my family and friends knew about my husband came from a filter of what I’ve said about him, what would they thing of my husband? Do you need to change the filter?
Do you talk positively about your husband to others… or do you complain and criticize? Your speech should reflect 1 Corinthians 13 love. Your words should be kind and should never “rejoice at wrongdoing” (v.6) Refrain from listing your husband’s faults to others. Satan likes to trick us in this area. Be wary of sharing barbed “prayer requests.”
Remember, “love covers a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8). Present your husband before others today in a strong, positive manner. Slip in a good word for your spouse. Resist the urge to correct or belittle him in front of others. Somer of what you say may come back to him-and you want your words to be sweet- building him up and never tearing him down.
Don’t forget, you are always criticizing-or encouraging- before an audience. God hears your conversations when you are alone with your husband in your own home. May your speech be always seasoned with grace.
But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. -Matthew 6:33
If we are living in light of eternity, everything we think, do, or say is seen from an eternal perspective. We will someday give an account for our failure to speak words of love and encouragement. Determine today that your words will be sweet and helpful.
Does your husband have a an eternal perspective that allows him to reject materialism and temporal values? Express your gratefulness for his value system, and praise him for putting eternal things before riches and other things of this world.
If this is a problem area for him, consider how you might alter your own value system and live for eternity in front of him, encouraging him to do the same. Only two things will go into eternity… the Word of God and people. Be sure that you are focusing on the right things today.
“I just completed the 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge. I can see that my kindness ad encouragement to my husband has softened his heart. The other day, he told me that we need to start praying together for a particular neighbor. This was encouraging to me that he saw his leadership in the home.” – Julia
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. –Ephesians 4:32
It’s time for some heart examination. As you continue in this 30-day challenge, have you found any roots of bitterness that are contaminating your relationship with your husband? Do you understand that as long as you are unwilling to forgive your husband-by God’s grace and His power-you will not be able to encourage him? Your own resentment will keep getting in the way. Now is the time to deal with any unforgiving attitudes. Forgive him, even as God has forgiven you.
Is your husband a forgiving man? Does he keep short accounts of your problems? Express your thankfulness for such a man.
Does your husband-rightly or wrongly- harbor grudges against you? Again, are these things you need to change, or do you need to ask for his forgiveness for an offense? Help your husband be more forgiving by quickly forgiving him for his mistakes.
“You’re never more like Jesus, you’re never more like God, than when you are forging and pursuing reconciliation.” -Nancy Leigh DeMoss